AndyMurray

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Thursday, 28 February 2013

Newspaper Dicks Of The Day (NSFW)

Posted on 13:50 by Unknown
I just spent half an hour laughing so hard that I hurt myself. From Drawing Dicks On The Herald Sun.










































Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, genitals, graffiti, nsfw | No comments

News: Mexican Police Seize Homemade Marijuana Cannon

Posted on 13:08 by Unknown
Gives a whole new meaning to "firing one up." Made from a plastic pipe "and a crude metal tank that used compressed air from the engine of an old car"? That sounds safe.

From The Guardian.


'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico

Compressed-air gun mounted on truck could hurl 13-kilo packets over fence into California

Feb. 27, 2013

Police in the border city
Read More
Posted in drugs, news, wtf | No comments

Inexplicable Stock Photos Of The Day

Posted on 10:12 by Unknown
Photo not related. To anything.



























More at Buzzfeed and Awkward Stock Photos.
Read More
Posted in best of 2, photos, wtf | No comments

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

WTF "Help Wanted" Signs Of The Day

Posted on 11:02 by Unknown
Long-haired freaky people need not apply.




Fearful drunks apply within.


You can't have all the shits. Six Flags needs some.




Sounds like a fun place to work.


Come back next month.






Never work for frustrated comedians. You'll regret it.


What's that smell? Oh, it's the piano keys.




Must speak Engrish.




Sorry, Madonna.


We need people to pack up all our shit.




Now hiring
Read More
Posted in best of 2, photos, signs | No comments

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Free Weave

Posted on 15:28 by Unknown


best of craigslist > portland > 

Free Weave (purple comb included)

This alluring weave can be found hanging on a bush on SE Francis Street and SE 36th Ave.

Not really sure how it could have gotten here but some of our guesses are that the previous owner:

1. Wanted to go back to her natural hair length

2. Was drunk and got a little too rough with her comb

3. Got into a fight and lost
Read More
Posted in craigslist | No comments

Job Query Of The Day: I Would Like To Be Pope

Posted on 12:51 by Unknown
From McSweeney's.


I Would Like to Be Pope

by John Ortved


Dear sir or madam,

I am writing to apply for the position of Pope. I recently received my Bachelor of Arts, or “artium baccalaureus,” from Dartmouth College, with a major concentration in Theatre Studies and a minor concentration in Computer Science. While I have been focusing on the technology and financial sectors, I have
Read More
Posted in McSweeney's, spoof | No comments

Vintage STD Propaganda Posters Of The Day

Posted on 09:56 by Unknown
Funny stuff from Hannah and Acid Cow. Interesting (i.e. lame) how women are portrayed as deadly temptresses and ghouls, and the poor soldiers are hapless victims. This wasn't that long ago, either.




Hmm. Define "procurable."










See? They had cock blockers even in the 1940s.

























She may look like Katy Perry -- but...














More here.
.
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, art, posters, vintage | No comments

Dipsh*ts Of The Day: Thieves Steal Hooter's Jukebox Instead Of ATM

Posted on 08:07 by Unknown
From MailOnline.
Men caught on CCTV driving truck into Hooters to steal ATM but mistakenly take jukebox instead

Jukeboxes are an increasing rare sight these day which might explain why two men in San Diego, California broke into a Hooters bar to steal one.

Police believe the two young men – described as in the late teens or 20s – mistakenly took the jukebox thinking it was a much more
Read More
Posted in crime, dumbass, news, stupid people | No comments

Monday, 25 February 2013

6 Actors Who Have Won Both Oscars And Razzies

Posted on 14:00 by Unknown
As long as we're on the subject of Razzies, here's a nifty little piece from Mental Floss.

"The day before the Academy Awards are given out, there’s another awards ceremony to hand out a not-so-prestigious statue: the Golden Raspberry, given out to the worst stuff Hollywood has thrown our way in the previous year. Occasionally, the Razzie and Oscar worlds collide when some of the best
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, awards, movies, oscars | No comments

Razzie Award Winners Of The Day

Posted on 12:35 by Unknown



The Oscars weren't the only awards given out yesterday. In its annual counterpoint to the Academy Awards, The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation announced its 33rd annual choices for the worst films and performances of last year:

WORST PICTURE: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

WORST ACTOR: Adam Sandler (That's My Boy!)

WORST ACTRESS: Kristen Stewart (The Twilight Saga: Breaking
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Posted in awards, movies, spoof | No comments

News: Man Who Bought 34th Anniversary Reissue Of Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumours' Feeling Like Real Idiot After Passing Display For 35th Anniversary Edition

Posted on 11:03 by Unknown
From The Onion.
Man Who Bought 34th Anniversary Reissue Of Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumours' Feeling Like Real Idiot After Passing Display For 35th Anniversary Edition

ENID, OK—Longtime Fleetwood Mac fan Michael Gastin reportedly felt like a complete moron this week after walking by a retail display for the 35th anniversary remastered CD box set of the band’s celebrated 1977 album Rumours, released
Read More
Posted in music, onion | No comments

Leaf-Blower Faces Of The Day

Posted on 09:02 by Unknown
The stuff of nightmares. From Tadaocern via TheFW.






































More here.

Read More
Posted in art, photos, wtf | No comments

Friday, 22 February 2013

News: Domestic Tiff Caused By Man's Ball-Scratching

Posted on 14:52 by Unknown
What? They're not gonna scratch themselves!

From The Smoking Gun.



Cops: Domestic Tiff Prompted By Man's Scratching

FEBRUARY 19--Ronald Howard was sitting on the couch “scratching his testicles” yesterday when his girlfriend told him to cease the itching “because it was rude and disgusting and she was about to eat dinner,” police report.

Howard, 30, reportedly rose from the furniture
Read More
Posted in news, smoking gun | No comments

Reimagined Pin-Up Girls Of The Day

Posted on 12:55 by Unknown



From Flavorwire: "When artist David Jablow came across Do It Yourself Doodler, a vintage ’60s notepad filled with pages upon pages of the same suggestively drawn pin-up girl (sans breasts, mouth, or nether regions like some kind of pornographic vintage Mad Lib), he decided to ignore its obviously dirty intentions and turn it into a work of art. Or rather, several works of art — in Jablow’s
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, art, flavorwire, spoof | No comments

Thursday, 21 February 2013

The Best Laugh Ever (Of The Day)

Posted on 20:04 by Unknown
Try watching this without laughing yourself. I couldn't.

Thanks for the link, Daisy.


.
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Posted in 0-Best Of, babies, video | No comments

20 Love Songs We Never Want To Hear Again

Posted on 15:01 by Unknown
"We" being Rolling Stone, though I agree with all their choices.

CHRIS DE BURGH, "LADY IN RED"

It's kind of fitting that this song was a hit in 1986, the height of the greed-is-good, conspicuous consumption Eighties; it's the ultimate trophy-wife ballad (barely edging out Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight"). The fake-glitz muzak sound is perfect for a cheaply sentimental song about a guy whose
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Posted in 0-Best Of, music, rolling stone | No comments

News: Florida Couple Addicted to Coffee Enemas

Posted on 13:17 by Unknown
They must spend a fortune at Starbutt's.

From ABC News. Link from Robert McLeod.




Florida Couple Addicted to Coffee Enemas, 100 a Month

Mike and Trina swear by their coffee. He enjoys a fine espresso grind, which is "on the cold side"; she prefers a "saturated blend" that is "warm and thicker."

The St. Petersburg, Fla., couple refuses to drink the caffeinated beverage, which they say
Read More
Posted in news, wtf | No comments

Punny Business: Stores With Awesomely Bad Pun Names

Posted on 10:19 by Unknown
I don't know if these draw or repel customers, but I'm grateful for the laughs.











































That's why he was dancing on the ceiling. He needed new flooring.



























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Posted in 0-Best Of, bad names, signs, wordplay | No comments

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

LOTD Classic: 21 Guys Who Look Like Kenny Rogers

Posted on 14:46 by Unknown
From MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com. 


Undertaker Kenny


Kenny Grinny


If You Like Pina Coladas Kenny


Kenny Vega$


Kenn-Tucky


Malibu Kenny


Squirrel Tail Kenny


Sweathog Kenny


Kenny In A Coma In The Snow


For Whom The Kenny Tolls


Kenny Feathers


Kenny Gotta Pee


Kenny Dundee


SilkienceTM Kenny


Kenny Velvet


Koncerto Kenny


Bedroom Kenny


Sun God Kenny


Kenny Mesh-n-Guns
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, celebs, kenny rogers, LOTD classic, photos | No comments

Rare Amusing Insults Of The Day

Posted on 11:45 by Unknown
Because asshole has lost its punch. From Merriam-Webster.




LICKSPITTLE


Definition: A fawning subordinate; a suck-up


Origin: Someone who licks another  person's spit is pretty low indeed. Incidentally, lickspittle keeps company with bootlicker ("someone who acts obsequiously").

COCKALORUM


Definition: A boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow.


Origin: If cockalorum
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Posted in best of 2, words | No comments

Menu Of The Day: Guy's American Kitchen (spoof)

Posted on 09:48 by Unknown
Comedy brilliance. Thanks for the link, Cloe Oliver. Click pic for easier reading.



Read More
Posted in food, spoof | No comments

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

SNL Movie Trailer Of The Day: DJesus Uncrossed

Posted on 09:42 by Unknown
The H is silent.


.
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Posted in movie trailer, SNL, spoof, video | No comments

Paula Deen Riding Things (Of The Day)

Posted on 08:49 by Unknown
From the Tumblr blog, y'all!





































More here.
.
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Posted in 0-Best Of, animated gifs, celebs, photos, random, tumblr | No comments

Monday, 18 February 2013

21 Unfortunately Named Products Of The Day

Posted on 14:30 by Unknown
Unfortunate unless your goal is brand name recall, in which case, congratulations, you nailed it.

Links from Mighty Joe Stankowski.










The sound it makes when you're done with it.







Could be worse. Could be Hotpis.







... ass?







Perfecting the science of gaydar.







Do these taste like something weird?







"Better than nothing." True.
















This is what
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, bad names, found porn, funny names, products, smosh | No comments

Person One Season Ahead In TV Show Doling Out Counsel Like Wise Elder

Posted on 13:30 by Unknown
From The Onion.




Guy One Season Ahead In TV Show Doling Out Counsel Like Wise Elder

PAWTUCKET, RI—Adopting the sagely demeanor of an all-knowing oracle, local man Jacob Rivard, 29, who is a season ahead of friends in his viewing of the television series Breaking Bad, is reportedly conferring advice about the show as if it were the sacred wisdom of ages. 

“Oh, you’re not to that part yet?”
Read More
Posted in onion | No comments

14 Things I Will Never Do Again (And You Can't Make Me)

Posted on 12:07 by Unknown
Just sayin'.






1. Take a mud bath at Calistoga (or anywhere else).

2. Tell a cop to "fuck off."

3. Help you move.

4. Give money to M. Night Shyamalan, Brian DePalma, Tim Burton, or Al Pacino.

5. Tell my wife she sneezes like a lumberjack, even if I think it will make her laugh.

6. Eat WOW chips (or anything else with olestra).

7. Flip off a truck full of construction workers.

8.
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Posted in me, misc humor | No comments

15 Hilarious Dog GIFs Of The Day

Posted on 09:49 by Unknown
Go, dog, go. From Buzzfeed.
















You made cupcakes? For ME?
















I hate cabbage too, dog.










I'm beat. Good night.







Wampug

More here.
.
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, animated gifs, buzzfeed, dogs | No comments

Friday, 15 February 2013

Stupid Ads For Unnecessary Feminine Products Of The Day

Posted on 12:11 by Unknown
Check out these ads for a new Playtex wipes. This is what happens when ad agencies try to get creative with products that don't really need creative advertising. The wipes are for post-boinkal cleanup, but I'm guessing this is yet another product that women don't need to use on their women-parts despite what advertisers say. Can you say bacterial vaginosis?

I'm all for pervy juvenile sex puns,
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Posted in advertising, fail, sex | No comments

News: Woman's Uncontrollable Sex Drive Caused By Rabies

Posted on 09:25 by Unknown
Link from Hannah.


Woman's Uncontrollable Sex Drive Caused By Rabies

This is a story all about a 28-year-old woman in India who everyone just assumed was a nympho. But then she died. Turned out she had rabies.

Complaining to doctors that she was constantly aroused, often with no stimulation, she was referred to a doctor at the Sri Gokulam Hospital. There, staff discovered that the source of
Read More
Posted in news, sex, wtf | No comments

8 Famous People Who Died In The Bathroom

Posted on 09:02 by Unknown
Adding indignity to injury. From HowStuffWorks.com.



ELVIS

Elvis's addiction to prescription drugs was well known, and on August 16, 1977, he was found dead on the bathroom floor in his Graceland mansion. A vomit stain on the carpet showed that he had become sick while seated on the toilet and had stumbled to the spot where he died. A medical examiner listed the cause of death as cardiac
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, celebs, death | No comments

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Creepy Vintage Valentines Of The Day

Posted on 12:00 by Unknown

Happy Overpriced Flowers Day! Your gift today is from Daisy. - C

If you want to keep someone guessing as to what your true feelings are on Valentine's Day, these creepy vintage Valentine cards should do the trick. There are lots more where these came from at ChicagoNow. ~posted by Daisy





Happy Valentine's Day, my Precious, from Gollum.



 
Remember me? I'm the one who boiled your
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Posted in creepy, valentine's, vintage | No comments

Star Wars Valentines Of The Day

Posted on 09:24 by Unknown
Dorks need love, too, you know. These were all created by forum readers at SomethingAwful.com.



























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Posted in star wars, valentine's | No comments

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

News: Ke$ha Drinks Her Own Urine

Posted on 18:11 by Unknown
Then regurgitates it in song form.

From The New Zealand Herald. (What? It's a newspaper!)


Ke$ha drinks own urine in TV series

Ke$ha says fans will see her drinking her own pee in the forthcoming documentary about her life.

Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life is scheduled to premiere in the US on MTV in April and will give an insight into the eccentric singer's habits.

The 25-year-old says
Read More
Posted in music, news, wtf | No comments

Best Fair Fried Foods Of The Day

Posted on 10:10 by Unknown
I love the state fair for two reasons:

1) Mullets


2) Food

It's hard to resist the corn dogs, funnel cakes and caramel apples (with nuts), even even when you know you'll end up sicker than Templeton the rat, ready to hork your guts out on the Tempest, which is exactly what two drunk women did at the Griffin (Georgia) Fair one time when I was a kid. Every time the ride tilted our way, my sister
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Posted in best of 3, food, me | No comments

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Pretty Girls, Ugly Faces (Of The Day)

Posted on 15:23 by Unknown
A good sense of humor can cover a multitude of ugly. From Reddit.











































More here. 
.
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Posted in 0-Best Of, photos, women | No comments

The 30 Worst Albums By Great Bands (Of The Day)

Posted on 09:37 by Unknown
Lists like this tend to stir up emotions, so I will remind you that these are the OPINIONS from writers on the various sites I used (see source list at bottom for more titles and reasons for selection).




Pink Floyd, The Final Cut 

Bob Dylan, Down In the Groove

Rolling Stones, Dirty Work or Bridges To Babylon

David Bowie, Tonight

Van Morrison, Beautiful Vision

The Clash, Cut the Crap
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Posted in 0-Best Of, music | No comments

News: Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

Posted on 08:28 by Unknown
From The Onion.


Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

LOS ANGELES—A song forged by the Ruler of Darkness himself in the blackest bowels of the accursed underworld proved to be the big winner at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards Sunday, taking home an impressive six of the music industry’s top honors, including Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance. 

“This was a
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Posted in onion | No comments

Monday, 11 February 2013

Why Tumblr Is Hilarious (Of The Day)

Posted on 08:40 by Unknown
Buzzfeed link from Steph and Dawn.





























See more here.
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, buzzfeed, photos, tumblr | No comments

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Weekend Links Of The Day

Posted on 10:48 by Unknown
Too much good stuff this week.




Grammy bans nips, "buttocks," and "puffy genitals" at this year's broadcast. (Evil Beet)

27 things that can ruin your childhood. (Buzzfeed)

Homeless hitchhiking hero Kai gets auto-tuned. (The FW)

10 weird food pairings you need to try. (Paste)

The ultimate guide to writing better than you normally do. (McSweeney's)

Urp! Creepy mom passed drugs to son
Read More
Posted in links | No comments

Friday, 8 February 2013

News: Seahag Gets 30 Years For Moida

Posted on 12:46 by Unknown
Said star witness Popeye, "She filled 'im fulla lead and slaughterized 'im! Uh guh guh guh guh." 

From the Miami Herald.




Keys ‘Seahag’ gets 30 years for killing man who refused to give her a beer

by Ryan McCarthy
Feb. 4, 2013

Former Conch Key resident Carolyn Dukeshire has the next 30 years to think about the can of Busch Light beer she never got from neighbor Martin Mazur.

That's
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Posted in news, TV, wtf | No comments

Beyonce's Backfired-Request-Turned-Internet-Meme Of The Day

Posted on 08:21 by Unknown
Long story short, after some "unflattering" photos of Beyonce from her Super Bowl performance turned up on a Buzzfeed post, her publicist wrote and politely asked the website to remove them--which, of course, Buzzfeed didn't do, this being the internet and all, and instead the whole thing turned into a hilarious Photoshop meme.

Two of the original pics:




Hilarity ensues:



















Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, celebs, meme, photoshop | No comments

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time For A Toothache!

Posted on 16:17 by Unknown
Check it out. Sweet Brown got a TV spot. Thanks for the link, Lea-Anne Jackson.


Read More
Posted in advertising, meme, video | No comments

Vid Of The Day: Neeson Season

Posted on 14:22 by Unknown
Take the *$%&*% elephant.


Read More
Posted in movies, spoof, video | No comments

Additional Myers-Briggs Personality Types Of The Day

Posted on 11:12 by Unknown
Don't know Myers-Briggs? Here's a brief summary.

From McSweeney's.



Additional Myers-Briggs Personality Types
By James Hannaham

Unfeeling Uncaring Judging Screaming (UUJS)

Lurking Touching Hurting Regretting (LTHR)

Lying Denying Confessing Lying (LDCL)

Smoking Dancing Laughing Fucking (SDLF)

Moping Whining Crying Leaping (MWCL)

Loving Buying Owing Impoverishing (LBOI)

Hating
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Posted in McSweeney's, psychology, spoof | No comments

Meme Of The Day: The Most Interesting Man In The World

Posted on 10:23 by Unknown
Stay funny, my friends.







































Read More
Posted in meme, photos | No comments

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Creepy-Ass Dog Up For Adoption

Posted on 13:52 by Unknown
I'd be afraid he would talk to me one day out of the blue and I'd shit my pants.

From Gawker.




Dog With 'Human Face' Looking for Human Dog-Lovers to Take Him Home
 
by Neetzan ZimmermanFeb. 5, 2013

It's unclear how or why Tonik the eerily humanoid poodle/Shih Tzu mix ended up in a kill shelter in Kentucky, but the good news is that he is no longer there.

Even better, the two-year-old
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Posted in dogs, gawker, wtf | No comments

News: Cop Sting Nets 71yo "Cougar" Prostitute

Posted on 10:21 by Unknown
From The Smoking Gun.




Police Sting Nets "Cougar," 71, On Prostitution Rap

JANUARY 28--A 71-year-old woman was arrested Friday for prostitution after allegedly striking a “deal for sexual acts” with an undercover cop who met her inside a room at a Homewood Suites hotel in Connecticut.

According to police, Sygun Liebhart placed a backpage.com ad “promoting herself under the escort section
Read More
Posted in sex, smoking gun | No comments

LOTD Classic: 21 Celebrities Who Need To Change Their Names

Posted on 09:34 by Unknown
(Originally posted 9/9/09)

Everybody's gotta be different now, is that it? Diversity is fine, but give me something I can pronounce. John Wayne. Tony Curtis. Cary Grant. Those were star names. Not this shit.


Nestor Carbonell
The guy who played Richard Alpert on "Lost" has a name that sounds like a sketchy pasta dish. “Our special tonight is Nestor Carbonell -- spinach linguine
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Posted in celebs, LOTD classic | No comments

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Best Movie Posters Of 2012

Posted on 14:35 by Unknown
From Flavorwire.



Minimalist, bloody without being gory, and blazed into our minds until Christmas day.



A delightful, hand-drawn poster by Johnny Sampson for a documentary about DIY home haunters.



Inspired by M. C. Escher’s iconic lithograph, Relativity, and far more interesting than the floating house poster.



The Eadward Muybridge-esque use of photo stills lends a dark conceptual
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Posted in 2012, art, movies | No comments

1930s Comedian Pretty Sure He's Outsmarted Murphy Bed

Posted on 14:03 by Unknown
From The Onion.




1930s Comedian Pretty Sure He's Outsmarted Murphy Bed

Jan. 28, 2013

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Clad in his pajamas, fuzzy slippers, and floppy nightcap, mustachioed 1930s comedian Max Ruckle announced Sunday night that he had finally gotten the best of his new house’s stubborn Murphy bed. 

“That oughta do the trick,” Ruckle said after a prolonged 45-minute struggle with the
Read More
Posted in onion | No comments

Unhappy Hipsters Of The Day

Posted on 10:50 by Unknown
From a blog called, oddly enough, Unhappy Hipsters.





































More here.
.
Read More
Posted in 0-Best Of, hipsters, photo, spoof | No comments

Monday, 4 February 2013

Meme Of The Day: Philosoraptor

Posted on 15:33 by Unknown

Velociraptor: the Mitch Hedberg of dinosaurs.
































.
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Posted in best of 2, meme | No comments

Disgusting Super Bowl Commercial Of The Day

Posted on 12:30 by Unknown
Be sure to turn up the volume for full effect.


Read More
Posted in advertising, gross, TV, video | No comments

News: Zoo Escape Drill Features Employee In Zebra Costume

Posted on 11:40 by Unknown
From the Mirror (UK).

Zookeeper dresses as zebra for hilarious animal escape drill at Japanese zoo

Staff at a zoo in Japan have taken part in an animal escape drill – using one of their zookeepers dressed as a zebra.



You better RUN, MOTHERFUCKER!




Around 60 workers chased the unfortunate employee around Tama Zoological Park, in Tokyo, while he wore a panto-style zebra costume.

Read More
Posted in japan, news, wtf | No comments

January Found Porn Roundup

Posted on 09:11 by Unknown
Thanks, Chris, Rich Girl Red, Rachael P., Rachel H., Daisy, Laura, Karen, Kushibo, and Amy.




That's a myth, you know.








"Hey man, I'm not choking!"
"Shhh. I know."








Like an ass tulip, but more filling.








Drive carefully.
Read More
Posted in found porn | No comments

Friday, 1 February 2013

News: Woman Tries To Kill Husband By Poisoning Own Genitals

Posted on 09:29 by Unknown
Sounds fishy but it's from a newspaper so it must be true. From The Mirror.




Oral sex assassination plot: Woman accused of putting poison in genitals to kill husband

Jan. 28, 2013

A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals.

The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her vagina before luring her husband
Read More
Posted in genitals, marriage, news, wtf | No comments

January Motivational Poster Roundup

Posted on 07:02 by Unknown
Happy Friday, cupcakes!


























Read More
Posted in motivational posters | No comments
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Popular Posts

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